Timing is Everything

So many times I want to push time forward to when I find a job or start doing something with my life and other times I want to rewind time to go back and do things differently and then there are the precious times I want to simply stop time and be in that moment forever... but I'm not in control of something so precious as time, only God is and He is consistent, just like time... not like me of course with all of my wanting to push, rewind and stop... however His timing is perfect and His timing is everything. 


For years now, deep in my heart, I have wanted to work with teen girls and be someone they can confide in and trust with all of their heart. I want to give my knowledge and advice, show them that they are worth so much more than they believe they are and push them to discover themselves and the potential they have in life. Being a girl and knowing everything I've ever felt and gone through and what I desire in every aspect of my life has seriously stirred something deep within and I want to help as many young girls as I can to not get into trouble and really believe in themselves. ... Well I have never really known what steps I needed to take to do this, nor have I really had the time to commit to something like this, until today. I went to this new church my mom has been going to called Spring Creek Community Church. INCREDIBLE! I love this church... and that is big for me, because churches are not my favorite place, which is really sad, but I think we have changed the purpose and true meaning of church and it is hard for me to be a part of them. (Oh you are about to get a sidetracked rambling thought from me so pause on the teenage girl story.)


To me, churches are just buildings, they are nothing more. I don't believe that God is in these buildings we call churches. He rests in the hearts of everyone in these buildings. I judge "churches" all the time and it's awful! It is definitely something I struggle with because I have no place judging. And it's not so much that I judge the people, but I have had so many negative experiences with church politics, people who are just "too righteous" and people that are unable to show love to people who choose to go in to the church... It blows my mind when people lure others to come to a "church" so that they can witness God's love in action and then nobody shows them the love of God. ughh.. I don't know.. this is just a tiny portion of my whole thought. I'm gonna be done with this now, my other story is what I really want to write about... 


Anyways, I actually love this new church. Great sermons! So as I walked in ten minutes late (who's surprised?) I had to ask the staff which door to enter and the guy I talked to turned out to be the youth minister... who I told I had just graduated from Baylor and moved home, who then asked me if I would be interested in leading a small group of teenage girls during the school year on Wed. nights... so we decided to meet and talk about it next Sunday. But I would be leading a group of 6-8 girls, high school or middle school... I really want high school, but we will see. OK BUT HOW AWESOME! This is the first time I went back to this church since Easter and I just happen to meet the youth minister and talk to him for a minute and then this! So cool!


I've been sitting at home, applying to jobs, not getting them and wondering if my life would ever have a purpose or if it was over after Baylor... yeah ok I'm a little dramatic... BUT I think God has really been letting me go through this time of uncertainty, disappointment, confusion and so many other things in order for me to really let go and let Him make my plans and direct my steps... I still don't have a job and I still have no idea what I am supposed to be doing, but I am so excited for this opportunity to serve these girls and I've been waiting and wanting to do this for so long now! Like I said earlier, His timing is everything. He is just now answering prayers that have been deep in my heart for a long time and I know He is going to answer my prayers about my next steps in life. I just have to be patient and not wish my time away... 


I realize that I write a lot and it might be a bit confusing, but if you read it thanks and maybe in time I'll get better at this blogging deal.. :)


Until next time...


p.s. I think I used the word "time" 18 times... well I guess now 20...